New York Gets Jack’d! Season 8 Live Blog – 10-11 p.m.
Welcome back! Dammit, I said welcome back! It’s time for another ass-kicking episode of 24. Before we get to the 10-11 pm hour, you can check out all my obsessive live blogs from this season here.
New York Gets Jack'd!
And let’s do a quick guide to the characters. In addition to Jack Bauer (can we have more Jack Bauer please?), Chloe O’Brian and President Alison Taylor, we have:
- Agent Renee Walker. She was known as “Freckles” but she needs a new nickname that befits her totally bad ass approach. Goth Renee?
- CTU Agent Fembot (Dana Walsh) who has a secret trailer trash past and is engaged to…
- CTU Agent Freddie Prinze Jr.
- NYC Director Hastings = CTU Chief Bubba Hunch
- Arlo the incompetent or idiotic CTU analyst (who may or may not be a mole)
- President Omar Hassan of generic Islamic nation of “Islamistan” = President Slumdog Millionaire
- President Slumdog Millionaire may have had an affair with Meredith Reed (aka Jessica Stein)
- President Hassan’s brother (who is conspiring to kill him and buy WMDs from the Russians) needs a nickname.
- Hassan’s Daughter = The Suspicious One
- Vladimir needs a nickname other than douchebag
- Russian arms dealer Sergei = Papa Bad Guy
- Also, SARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So let’s get to it. Feel free to comment freely in the aptly named comment section.
The following takes place between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m.
Events occur in real time.
Disclaimer: time-stamping is approximate. My TiVo time is not quite in sync with the official 24 clock, so there’s a 2-3 minute margin of error.
10:02: Yay! One more look at Jack’s awesome German get-up.
10:03: Crazy ethnic headdress means they’re at the UN!
10:04: Yeah, I don’t think the British guy can be trusted. Just a hunch.
10:04: Shut up and drive. Who sang that song? Rihanna?
10:05: Die Fembot Die. It’s German for The Fembot The!
10:06: I love the way Chloe talks to Arlo.
10:07: Where is Jack’s pseudo-fake German accent?
10:07: NOW! Drink! NOW!
10:08: Renee: I didn’t sleep with that dirtbag not to bring him in.
10:09: Would someone please arrest CTU Agent Fembot Starbuck? This needs to end. NOW!
10:10: That’s a lot of numbers for these jackasses to remember.
10:11: Didn’t count on the guys being dyslexic!!!!!
10:11: Ha! The idiot just said “that’s too many numbers.” It’s like I’m reading the scriptwriters’ minds.
10:12: Oh the stupidity. The stupidity is astounding!
Commercial break:
This cover of Peter Schilling’s Major Tom is fantastic
Hey guys – next Monday night I’m going to be out: Ben – do you want to host a real Cover It Live blog here?
Back at 10:16:24:
10:15: God these accents are sooooo bad.
10:16: I’m waiting for Jack to seriously lose his shit.
10:17: Jack looks like he can’t wait to seriously lose his shit.
10:17: Dammit Jack it’s NUCLEAR!!!
10:18: Ah, Papa Bad Guy is here. Don’t mess with Papa Bad Guy.
10:19: SARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:19: Blah blah blah did it for you. Blah blah blah for our family. Blah blah blah. I’m Papa Bad Guy.
10:21: Sark is all, he’s not heavy, he’s my brother.
10:21: Ooh, we have contact from Vladimir to Sergei. Didn’t see that coming. #sarcasm
10:23: Oh god he’s disgusting. Renee brings new meaning to “take one for the team.”
10:23: Did someone say pierogies?
And commercial break.
OMG I do not want Facebook and Twitter on my TV.
Back at 10:29:
10:28: Hello President Slumdog Millionaire!
10:28: My intentions? My intentions are to sleep with Jessica Stein. Oh you mean with the peace treaty thingy.
10:29: And this guy – we don’t trust this guy either, right? Trust no one! Except Jack Bauer.
10:30: With my wife gone, nobody speaks the truth anymore? What?
10:31: Ok, President SM, you are on to something. I definitely don’t trust that security guy.
10:32: Oh good it’s Dumb and Dumber!
10:32: I will never get that minute of my life back.
10:33: Did she say if they get caught she’s dead? GET CAUGHT!!! PLEASE!!!!
10:34: Please get caught. Please get caught. Please get caught.
10:35: Really? They focused 3 full minutes on that whole thing with Dumb and Dumber. God I am angry with 24 right now.
Aaaand commercial.
Looks like I picked the wrong season to liveblog 24.
Once again, I ask what the hell Ellen DeGeneres knows about music. She can barely even dance.
Back at 10:40:35
10:38: So the daughter and the security guy are having a relationship. Do we care?
10:40: Blah blah blah father blah blah blah torture blah blah blah.
10:40: Don’t you see my hands are tied? Well not right now they’re not. But maybe later they will be.
10:42: “You should call them back.” It’s not like a telemarketing campaign.
10;42: “Just because I like your face doesn’t mean I have to put up with your crap.” Well then.
10:43: I can’t really type right now after what just happened.
10:44: Ok, so while I wasn’t shrieking, Renee stabbed Vladimir about 732 times and then Jack. And then Jack nailed the other guy with a flying knife. Holy. Crap.
Commercial break. Holy. Crap.
I think Jack was right to want to pull Renee out. But then again, Jack is always right.
So what happened to Jack?
Ok we’re back at 10:50:38
10:48: Bubba Hunch: Half an hour earlier she was having sex with the guy. How does that happen? He’s not CTU chief for nothing.
10:50: Renee is one twisted sister.
10:51: Are we really further along than we were 3 hours ago? Not sure if that’s true, Jack.
10:52: The Russians are here! The Russians are here!
10:53: All I want to do is business. Obviously these guys haven’t met Jack Bauer before.
10:54: Whew, that was a close call!
10:55: Freddie Prinze Jr.’s New York accent is terrible.
10:56: Holy crap. Where is Jack?
10:56: Oh a sewer tunnel. Very clever.
10:57: And they drive off with Jack. Talk about off the grid.
And that’s that.
45 Responses to “New York Gets Jack’d! Season 8 Live Blog – 10-11 p.m.”
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Obsessed with Flickr
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Previously on “Who wants to be a Middle Eastern dictator?”
Freddie Prinze-Geller Junior will never do anything so badass as he did last week.
Doesn’t saying “anything you say to me in the strictest confidence” on 24 actually mean just the opposite?
The rest of this season might be DVRd if White Trash Starbuck gets much more screen time.
And we have our first “NOW!” of the episode. Last week, that took nearly 50+ minutes.
Hah! Roll reversal. The Russian guy is “running out of time.” I see what they did there.
So with Bauer’s glasses, is this what happens to Harry Potter years from now?
@JQ
Harry Potter as a CTU agent? I’d absolutely watch that show. So long as White Trash Starbuck isn’t involved
This is the set-up for same bad joke: Dumb, dumber and dumbest are trying to rob an evidence locker….
That first 13 minutes felt like 2 minutes of Jack & Renee, and 45 minutes of WTS.
So when did this show become America’s Dumbest Criminals? Might as well have Jerry Springer as head of CTU at this point.
Everyone else is rooting for the “patrol” to just come in and empty 3 dozen clips into those two, right? Right???
Watching Jack Bauer stumble around drunk for the next four hours would make for a compelling month of 24.
BTW, it’s Shiny Toy Guns who does the “Major Tom” cover. Free download here: http://lincoln.com/music/
OK, time end the commercial part of the comments.
I’ll host a Cover It Live here next week. It’s Presidents Day. Should be good for hosting.
This other Russian is going to expose himself to liability for improperly discarding nuclear waste if he buries his radioactive son “out back.”
Am I the only one who thought this hour has been really slow?
Thanks JQ. I’ll be downloading that.
I feel like President Slumdog and Madam President have been going on and on and on for hours without saying anything.
Halfway through .. and the only shots have been from a bottle of vodka. Pick it up!
Oh, and squirtgun now.
All this hour needs is a cougar.
Worst. Subplot. Ever.
A pair of dee-dee-dee’s are giving crooks a bad name.
Seriously, do the writers et al think that we’ll feel sorry for her if she gets caught and/or fired and/or killed 1000 painful deaths?
I won’t mind Agent Fembot leaving because I never could wrap my head around Starbuck being a female in the first place.
I guess this Dumb and Dumber subplot can fill in the gap when Jack has to go to the bathroom, take a nap, etc.
OK, that’s cool to call up the camera outside the apartment from the TV on PIP. That’s even better than the caller ID popping up on screen.
OK, that’s cool to call up the camera outside the apartment from the TV on PIP. That’s even better than the caller ID popping up on screen.
Or Twitter and Facebook.
“Just because I like your face, doesn’t mean I have to put up with your crap”
Haha.
Line Of The Night: “Just because I like your face … “
“Just because I like your face doesn’t mean I have to put up with your crap.” — isn’t that the point of the Dodger Charger ad yesterday?
Did NOT see that coming…
Uh, no pun intended.
Oh shit, OR that.
And … that happened. Twice.
Holy crap!
Yeah. So. Wow. Renee.
Also, Jack just put John Locke to shame with his knife-throwing abilities.
The only 3 badass moments in this hour happened bang-bang-bang.
We wanted action. We got action. Ouch!
With knife skills like that, Jack should be on Iron Chef.
Jack Bauer: “It’s only a flesh wound!”
Why worry about finding the rods when the rods’ owner comes to you?
Renee really wanted to kill that guy. It was written all over her face.
Oh, great. So not only did Dumb and Dumber rob an evidence locker and assault a cop, but they’re also drinking and driving too. Wonderful.
OH MY GOD! They’re going to the WHITE HOUSE!
I was afraid Renee was going to get stabby again when she didn’t know where Jack was. Meanwhile, I swear Freddy Prinze Jr. has now become CTU Agent The Situation.
I missed last night’s episode!!! Aaargh…though it was to catch up with friends from highschool… and that mean’s I can’t read your funny real time updates till I see the episode.
Somebody grab some scissors and cut off Agent Fembot’s hair! Starbucks Pantene continues to move her blonde swatch around her neck and let it hang on one shoulder with her Debbie Downer face and shifty eyes…gee, you don’t think she’s up to something, do ya?
You would think the producers/director of 24 would have instructed the actress to be “cool” and “icey” and snake around CTU while keeping her Trailer Bio secret. THAT would have been more tolerable and much more interesting than to see her grab that stupid ringing phone and skulk around in dark hallways.
Here’s what I think is going to happen.
Cuz ya know, this stay-at-home Mom in Texas is actually a CTU agent and all.
Perhaps Starbuck Pantene gets her hair in a knot and plots against Dumb and Dumber by driving those two tools into the Russians armed lair. “It’s Starbuck Pantene. I’ll meet you at a warehouse. If you see a bunch of Russian guys, they are my undercover buddies. Just tell them you are there because you know where the nuclear rod is, okay? See you in 20. I’ve got my ATM card. No worries.”